It's 10 AM and I'm eating a snickers.
I sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night now, which is why I look like death.
I woke up at 4 AM this morning to pump and come to the hospital.
I feel guilty when I go home.
I have no clue when I last put on makeup.
I don't waste time drying my hair because I'm in too much of a hurry.
I have around 75 bottles of frozen breast milk in my freezer, 3 bins of it at this hospital, and 2 bins at the other hospital.
I feel like a milking cow. And that I should apply to be in the Chik-Fil-A ads.
I am trying not to think about the tons and tons of medical bills that are adding up every day.
I never knew sitting around at the hospital all day could be so exhausting.
I nap a lot.
My house is a wreck.
I'm terrified of going back to work next week. I knew it would eventually happen, but it will be almost impossible to juggle everything.
I can't help but dreaming of exercise. I want to so badly but it feels selfish to take time out of my day for it.
I have a view of a dangerous part of town from our NICU window. It keeps me entertained. A real live reality show.
And just when I feel super overwhelmed, I meet a young mom in the family room who is living here since her house is 3 hours away. Living here without her husband because he has to work. Her baby was born in March and they have no idea when he'll get to go home.
And just like that I get my reality check. It could always be worse.
I'm constantly thinking of that young mom now and others with situations much worse than mine.
And I'm grateful.
Now, I've got to hurry up and get back to doing nothing. :) and enjoy it while it lasts.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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